Chinese media, advertising, and urban life.

作者: 驯马驴 时间: 2009-5-2 14:10

此网站特点是用英语的话语体系和视角叙述（共惨）中国新闻的话语体系和视角，

例如著名的“十大神兽”——

Meet the Grass Mud Horse (草泥马), a rare animal that has become phenomenally popular in the past month.

The animal, whose name sounds like a common curse (操你妈), is the most famous of the Ten Legendary Beasts of Baidu, non-existent animals that were inserted into Baidu's user-editable encyclopedia. Although the majority are juvenile puns for curse words or genitalia, the collective editing process did manage to come up with a few clever descriptions.

Here are the rest:

The Dafei Chicken (达菲鸡): A strange bird that likes exercise. (打飞机, slang for "masturbate")
The Chrysanthemum Silkworm (菊花蚕): A silkwork that feeds on chrysanthemum flowers instead of mulberry leaves. (菊花残, an insult that means something like "bugger")
The Midge Butterfly (雅蠛蝶): An exceedingly rare creature only found on the Tibetan plateau. (From やめて, Japanese for "stop it"; via imported porn)
The Weishen Whale (尾申鲸): During his maritime adventures, Zheng He discovered this creature was hunted as the raw materials for women's underpants. (卫生巾, "sanitary napkin")
The Jiba Cat (吉跋猫): A creature that lives in a dark, damp environment and competes for food with the White Tiger. According to historical records, the Jiba Cat flourished during the reign of the Zhengde Emperor. (鸡巴毛, slang for "pubic hair")
The Qianlie Crab (潜烈蟹): A legendary crab that once stopped up the Grand Canal. (From 前列腺, "prostate")
The Crying Paddy Goose (吟稻雁): In the Kangxi era, a large goose dove into a certain field, damaging it and causing the local farmers to come down with a strange sickness. (From 阴道炎, "vaginitis")
The Franco-Croatian Squid (法克鱿, scientific name "Vai-te Foder"): A fierce species of squid originally inhabiting Europe and the Americas. (From the English-language curse "Fuck you")
The Puremen (鹑鸽): A rare bird found only in Sichuan and Hunan; formerly found in the area that is now the Republic of Yemen. (From 春哥, a nickname used for Super Girl winner Li Yuchun among fans who claim, whether sincerely or ironically, that she's a man. Their catchphrase is 春哥纯爷们, "Brother Chun is all man", which is where Yemen comes in)
And finally, in a nod to the editors of the encyclopedia, there's the Stork-Cat Ape (鹳狸猿) that inhabits Baidu County in Lanzhou. This entry pokes fun at Baidu administrators (管理员) who continually spar with the online pranksters and who ultimately deleted all of these entries.

作者: 蒋光头 时间: 2009-5-2 14:12

提示: 作者被禁止或删除内容自动屏蔽

作者: saltfish 时间: 2009-5-2 14:13

Scams
A call from a gaming buddy
Posted by Joel Martinsen, May 2, 2009 2:00 PM
Milk Pig, a blogger who writes for Southern Weekly, recently wrote about a shocking telephone conversation she had with a purported friend of her father:

A call comes in. The display reads "number blocked."

Other end: Yuan Lei?
Me: Yes.
Other end: I play cards with your father. He's been in a car accident, and has just been sent to the Huaxi Medical emergency room.
Me: Oh?
Other end: The doctors are horrible. They won't put him in surgery until they've gotten the money. I bought an IP card to call you. I don't have enough money on me. Send some to XXXXXXXX, quick.
Me: What about my mother?
Other end: I couldn't tell your mother. Don't want to alarm her. It wouldn't matter, anyway. Where's she going to get the money? Saving his life is the important thing.
Me: How do I know you're not a scammer?
Other end: You're Yuan Lei, and your father is Yuan XX, right?
Me: Right.
Other end: So that's settled. Hurry up, delay any longer and your father's not going to make it.
Me: You really play cards with my father?
Other end: Of course.
Me: It's just that I never imagined...
Other end: He probably didn't want you to know.
Me: I mean, I only burnt a mahjong set for him at Qingming. I never imagined he'd find other players so quickly.

Thoughts afterward:

1. It's like I was holding AK suited and made a flush on the river, when the other guy was holding two pair, and went all-in.

But for him to know my father's name made for a pretty big two pair.

2. They say that if you go off to petition, when you're standing there in line you'll meet all kinds of people, who speak the language of your hometown, call you by your name, tell you what you're here petitioning about, clap you on the shoulder, and take you to one side to solve things for you. If you show the least bit of surprise, they'll pull you from the ranks and beat you until you're 99% crazy. The scientific name for these people is "petition interceptor."

这篇文章蛮搞笑的。

作者: saltfish 时间: 2009-5-2 14:14

谢谢了，我收藏了。

作者: 驯马驴 时间: 2009-5-2 14:17

引用:

原帖由 zhuxinyun 于 2009-5-2 10:12 AM 发表

你英语不错,看来不是小学文化

侬太抬举喔了..

我早就自废共匪帮政府体系里所受的一切教育。。~

作者: seawong 时间: 2009-5-2 14:26

太有趣了，不过很好奇这个网站是哪些人搞的。

作者: 驯马驴 时间: 2009-5-2 14:28 标题: Wei Guang Zheng（萎光狰）

Fun with Baidupedia is not entirely about dirty words. For a different level of satire, check out the now-deleted entry for revolutionary hero Wei Guangzheng (伟光正, taken from 伟大, 光荣, 正确, "great, glorious, correct"):

Comrade Wei Guangzheng is a superior product of natural selection. In the course of competition for survival, because of certain unmatched qualities of his genetic makeup, he has a great ability to survive and reproduce, and hence Wei Guangzheng represents the most advanced state of species evolution.

Here is the evolution of Wei Guangzheng's thinking: Since the day of his birth, comrade Wei Guangzheng established a guiding ideology for the people's benefit, and in the course of connecting it with the real circumstances of his beloved Sun Kingdom, a process of repeated comparisons that involved the twists and turns of campaigns of encirclement and suppression, his ideology finally realized a historic leap forward and generated two major theoretic achievements. The first great theoretic leap was the idea of leading a handful of people to take up arms to cause trouble, rebellion, and revolution in order to build a brave new world, and to successfully seize power. This was the "spear ideology." The second great theoretic leap was a theory, with Sun Kingdom characteristics, in which Wei Guangzheng was unswervingly upheld as leader and the people were forever prevented from standing up. This was the "shield theory." Under the guidance of these two great theoretic achievements, comrade Wei Guangzheng won victory after victory. Practice has proven, "Without Wei Guangzheng, there would be no Sun Kingdom." Following the road of comrade Wei Guangzheng was the choice of the people of the Sun Kingdom and an inevitable trend of historical development.

Comrade Wei Guangzheng endured a bitter struggle for survival. In his struggles with natural conditions, he climbed mountains and trudged through plains, expressing with an iron will a legendary story of pathos that continues to impress his posterity. In struggles with heterogeneous individuals, he engaged in a long-term fight with the reactionary government of the time and was ultimately triumphant. In his struggles with individuals in his own group, he cast out the cow devils and snake spirits that organized internal reactionary activity, and dealt them harsh punishment. This is the reason why comrade Wei Guangzheng could continue to survive: he fit perfectly with the three main factors of natural selection.

In the harmonious environment that comrade Wei Guangzheng himself constructed, mates were plentiful and there were no natural enemies, so Wei Guangzhengs could multiply quickly. Their numbers swiftly increased. Today, Wei Guangzhengs inherit the advantages of their Wei Guangzheng ancestors, and also attempt various innovations. For example, many Wei Guangzhengs use their unmatched power to amass money, setting records that are continually broken. Of course, evolutionary principles mean that there is also mutation, as when, following his leadership of a handful of people to take up arms to cause trouble, rebellion, and revolution and to seize power, Wei Guangzheng began to detest "a handful of people"....

The reason for this mutation may be due to errors in genetic transmission during the period of the second leap of Wei Guangzheng Thought. It is said that mutation frequently causes cells to function improperly or even die, or could lead to cancer. Yet at the same time, mutation is a motivating factor for the evolution of species: sudden changes that are less than ideal will be naturally discarded, while beneficial changes will accumulate. In this way, we see that mutations directly affect the evolutionary direction of Wei Guangzheng.

作者: saltfish 时间: 2009-5-2 14:30 标题: 回复 8# 驯马驴的帖子

呵呵，算了，还是少贴点吧，纯英文恐怕过会儿有人要求翻译了

作者: abc989877 时间: 2009-5-2 15:43

引用:

原帖由 saltfish 于 2009-5-2 10:30 AM 发表呵呵，算了，还是少贴点吧，纯英文恐怕过会儿有人要求翻译了

不怕，用Google翻译下就行了。

作者: saltfish 时间: 2009-5-2 15:49 标题: 回复 10# abc989877 的帖子

呵呵，只是有时候翻译的怪怪的

作者: bbmoz 时间: 2009-5-2 19:03

实乃神站！这网是什么人搞的？

作者: saltfish 时间: 2009-5-2 21:12 标题: 回复 13# mtjs 的帖子

HEY!THE MAN NAME"ME" IS NOT ME REAL

作者: saltfish 时间: 2009-5-2 21:35 标题: 回复 15# mtjs 的帖子

⊙﹏⊙b汗

作者: blueskyandwater 时间: 2009-5-2 21:57

我想问下基地干部们:
基地是面向汉语语系的人?
还是,面向英语语系的人呢?

我虽然计划2012年世界末日前可以独立看A片!
但是现在我的E文能力还不行啊!
....

强烈要求:
凡有非汉语的东西,全部要有对应的汉语翻译部分!

作者: saltfish 时间: 2009-5-2 22:07 标题: 回复 17# blueskyandwater 的帖子

首先，没有说2012年世界末日，那日子只有主知道。

再者，是面对全球会员的，优先欢迎各位懂中文的进来，不过，可能会出现英文帖子的概率不高，你也不要太担心。

要是你要翻译，那实在有点苦难，要不，谷歌？

作者: saltfish 时间: 2009-5-2 22:14 标题: 回复 19# ykhai 的帖子

⊙﹏⊙b汗

作者: saltfish 时间: 2009-5-2 22:16 标题: 回复 21# ykhai 的帖子

嗯，没办法啊，多少也要接触一点啊。

作者: bbmoz 时间: 2009-5-2 22:50

楼上几位抱怨鸟语烦人的，没办法，据统计，这个世界上97%的信息都是英语书写或传递的，多学学只有好处，没有坏处，英语方面本人只有词汇还凑乎，其他都是见光死……

，对于我小有心得的词汇，我只有一句话讲“信词源学者得救赎”，www.etymonline.com，多查查学学琢磨琢磨

作者: saltfish 时间: 2009-5-3 12:39 标题: 回复 24# mtjs 的帖子

so,this page just a english one

作者: fantasist 时间: 2009-5-3 13:06

订阅过这个网站一段时间，后来觉得看英文实在太累，退掉了

作者: wolfhawk 时间: 2009-5-3 21:58

看看哈哈有意思的东西多多益善啊

作者: bulubulu 时间: 2009-5-4 08:14

英国老鼠看不明白啊

作者: saltfish 时间: 2009-5-4 10:42 标题: 回复 29# bulubulu 的帖子

我也喜欢这么称呼英语————英国老鼠，或者阴沟里老鼠。

作者: yang667455 时间: 2009-5-4 12:54

能不看英文我就不看,

作者: saltfish 时间: 2009-5-4 19:41 标题: 回复 31# yang667455 的帖子

能看就尽量看

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